Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Senior citizen’s homes in India -A bane or boon?


Few decades  back Indians  would not have dreamt that the concept of old age homes or senior citizens shelters will become a part of our social life .It is still not   a readily acceptable notion  to many. Those who  have a biased opinion about the old age homes should  understand the simple principles of life exhibited brilliantly in the following poem, written by Khalil Gibran , so that   acceptability of  the senior homes becomes easier.

Your children are not your children.
 They are the sons and daughters of life .
They come through  you , but not from you.
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
 You may give them your love , but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
 You may house their bodies , but not their souls.
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow , which you can not visit, not even in your dreams .
You may strive to be like them , but seek not to make them like you.

This poem talks about philosophy of life in simple words. If it is properly understood the complexities in human relation ship especially between children and parents will not continue to exist in such intensity as it is prevailing now

Before discussing whether old age homes are boon or bane let
us analyse the data  regarding life expectancy at birth in India so that we get an idea about the social and economic burden of longevity of the population

The number of 60 plus population in India

1851                       21millions
1981                                              43 millions
1991                                              54.7 millions
2001                                              76 millions
2025(projected)      117 millions    

 The growing number of the elders has become a development issue due to the social and economic cost involved in taking care of the elders.It is true that taking care of the old parents and grand parents is the immediate responsibility of the family . But the changes in the  social circumstances due to the spread of the global  village concept has made the care of the elders by the family very difficult .The joint family system which has taken care of the elders, widows and orphans had disappeared  in India due to migration of the children necessitated by economic compulsions.
If children of to day do not respect values such as “let you be the one who worships mother, father, teachers and the guest,”  there are reasons for it.

Who trains them to become ambitious in goal setting? Who  makes all the sacrifices to give them high quality education preferably, foreign education ? Who encourages them to become competitive in this world? Who coax them to go abroad to get maximum possible earning? Who gives them the ideas that the parents can manage on their own during their absence in the home country? Who teaches them to have independent thinking ability? Who decides to hide from them all the efforts and suffering undergone by the parents  to  put them on higher plat form ? Who has  moulded them to be materialistic?

There is no justification  in blaming the youngsters of today for  their  indifference attitude towards the elders of the family after  Grooming   them  to be what they are today i.e.,; self centered , insensitive to the needs of the parents, materialistic in attitude,ambitious  in carrier growth , least regard for mother country’s problems etc,. .Therefore the elders should accept the reality of the situation, especially , when the children are settled in a far off country or even in a far off states with in  India. It is not possible for them to migrate the parents , to their living places due to immigration problems or climatic  differences. Elders too would not prefer to constant migration and adjustment to variations in culture and environment,  language, food habits etc,. due to  the constant juggling  in carriers of their  children .Of cours,the eternal conflicts  between daughter in laws and son in laws and the parents in laws also have  taught the elders that maintenance of some distance between children and them which  is called “spacing”  is better for the maintenance of  smooth family relationship. Hence many of the elders, either volunteer to stay alone or forced to stay alone and this has resulted in growing number of elders living alone, causing stress to the children  and to the elders them selves. If they stay with relatives, after some times cracks in relationship appear. If they stay with servants, security problems arise. If they stay alone, life becomes a burden due to the difficulty in coping up  with the house hold management. In recent times, the media is reporting about growing number of attacks and murders of  senior citizens who live alone. Hence even the state governments  are concerned about their safety.

It may be possible to live alone as long as the seniors are healthy i.e. may be up to the age of 65 due to good health practices and proper medial care. But life becomes a burden after the age of 70 and that  too if they succumb to dreaded diseases like alzheimer or paralysis attack or cancer . Then who should take care of them? In the lower strata of society, if the elders are starved ,abused, ignored and denied medical care or sent out of homes where should they turn to? Here comes the role of   citizens homes as an alternative institutional arrangement

They are of two types viz,. free and paid homes. The free homes are run by the government by the social welfare department and there are nearly 1000 of them in India and the NGOs also  run such homes and are providing  the basic  facilities and amenities .Though they  are not providing satisfactory quality care, it is better than allowing the poor seniors wander in the streets as destitute and have a pathetic end.

The paid home’s facilities vary according to the fees they charge. But under one roof holistic care of varying qualities are available according to the fees they pay ranging between Rs 5000 to 10000 every month.. In these well paid homes they get independent dwelling units,   balanced and timely food ,periodic medical check ups, emergency care and facilities for communication with their kith and kin through phones  and internet and the library , recreation , exercise facilities .and even  the funeral arrangements if the elders are childless or if their children are unwilling or unable to come for a decent farewell. More over the  sheer thought of being surrounded by people of their age help in easy interaction and exchange of their personal experiences, that is the lonely feeling with which living alone seniors suffer is not there and the  fear for their safety also is non existent. The sons and daughters  also can also live in peace after arranging for them ,good senior citizens homes. After realizing the potentiality of profit in running high class senior homes, many real estate organizations have entered into this sector and providing state of the facilities   in them. The Children do not mind bearing the cost of their stay in such high class homes, because in that way they can satisfy their conscience. The retired  academics, bureaucrats, scientists etc who get very decent pension, also increasingly opt  for such homes, because they are aware that they will become victims of grand dumping if they are attacked by serious , terminal diseases when they depend on relatives.

Therefore the elders homes are an intermediate arrangement between living alone without any assistance or with institutional facilities and companions of the same age. it can never be compared with  home facilities.But there are advantages also if they are run properly taking into consideration the special requirements of the elders.  Staying in an old age home is not any more a stigma or blot on the family values. Of course the pain  of living away from the near and dear ones and with staying with strangers will haunt the seniors for ever. But  the seniors should become sagacious , accept the realty of the situation , the change in the attitude of their children towards parents ,the erosion in family values and go to the senior citizens home with  clear mindset and mentally prepared  to adjust to any changes in their life pattern. Because change is the only permanent thing in life and Khalil Gibran’s philosophy of life should be properly understood and adopted in day to day life, so that their sun set years become peaceful.

 (written by Rameeze. Rasheed and  published in Sulekha. com with the pen name litewait )


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