The right words on the right occasions

Words uttered on various occasions have to be suitable to the occasion. . Words spoken once cannot be taken back. Hence, maximum care and diligence is required before speaking to others. Speaking the right words on the right occasions is like an art, which has to be practiced. “The words we use to communicate our feelings are like knife. In the hands of a skilful and careful surgeon, knife can do wonders to a person’s life. But in the hands of careless person it can cause greater harm”.

Every one of us has social obligations in our daily life and we try our best to fulfill them. We have to attend to happy and sad events occurring in the lives of our neighbors, friends, and relative’s. One wrong word or a sentence not suitable to an occasion might do irreparable damage to human relation ship. “Kind words should be short and simple. But the echoes are endless” –mother Theresa.   

Generally, happy events do not require too much caution while talking, because the atmosphere is charged with joy, noise, humour, enthusiasm, and connectivity with relatives. However, sad events require consoling words and our words should convey our sincere feelings and concern   towards the affected person. For example, if death has occurred in a family, no amount of consoling words would help in relieving the mourner from the sense of loss. At those times, any word in meaningless. A pat on the back or a hug or holding of hands might help in conveying our condolences than formal words. It is said, “Silence is the word of God”. Simple words like, “Don’t hesitate to call me when you need any help” or “I will pray to God to help you to give enough strength to bear this loss” are enough to convey our real feelings towards their loss than philosophical or religious sermon.

When we pay a visit to a patient admitted in a hospital for surgery or treatment, it is important to take care of our facial expression and words uttered .Our aim should be to boost up the sprit of the in-patient. A bouquet of colorful flowers will have the magical effect on the patient. If the patient is fond of reading, books or magazines with lighter themes or with jokes or funny events can help them to come out of depression. The inpatients are always eager to catch up with outside world activities. Office events or gossips can be shared, local news can be reported and successful cases of patients with the same decease can be narrated to give them courage and confidence. We should avoid suggesting some other hospital or doctor or complaining about the admitted hospital’s facilities. If there is complications in the patient’s condition or if the patient is deteriorating, concern and worry or other details regarding the patients position should be shared with the attendant outside the room .Even the attendant should be consoled through offer help and words of courage and should not be demoralized by our words.

Retrenchment of employees has become common ever since, the global recession started hitting the economies. The sudden loss of job causes tremendous mental stress to the retrenched employees victims. They are filled with anxiety about the need to meet the existing financial commitments,  good reemployment opportunity and the waiting period .  The future looks bleak during the intervening period, when a series of interviews attended fail to get them a satisfactory job. At such times, they get into deep depression and even consider suicide if unemployed period prolongs. At such times,   the immediate family has to be extra careful while dealing with them. No word that would crush their hope for better future should be uttered. Useful suggestions regarding alternative ways earning an income should be given to them. Friends should be supportive through offer of help such as forwarding their resume to the existing vacancies in their companies and visit them frequently. Their “words of kindness are more healing to a dropping heart than balm or honey.”(Sara Fielding, British novelist). Positive energy should be passed on to them through encouraging words. Sympathetic words or word that would create fear in their mind about future should be avoided.  

 The school final examination result day creates havoc in many youngsters’ lives in India. If the daughter or son failed to get higher percentage of marks, the whole family behaves as if the worst misfortunate has hit them .The parents use humiliating words in front of others and daunt them with comparisons with friends and other siblings. It is because the words uttered at such times carelessly, the children loose self-confidence and self worth .Unable to bear the cruel words they opt either to run away from home or attempt suicide. They never realise that, “reckless words pierce like a sword and the tongue of the wise heals.”- (Proverb)

It is true that education is a powerful tool of empowerment and getting higher education in prestigious college and getting admission into a highly demanding course help in progress in life. How ever, parents do not understand that in today’s changing education scenario, school final examination mark neither offers total guarantee for bright future or does it proves originality or intelligence of a student. A lot of mediocre students from mediocre colleges also shine well in life. Academic performance might help only at the entry level in the job market.  After entry, various other soft skills play a major role in carrier advancement. Moreover, at present the job market has become broader and demands variety of skills. Innumerable courses are offered by the colleges especially, by the self-financing stream, which do not expect high percentage of marks for every course offered.  The students can be admitted into any such course as per their aptitude and future goal. Hence, the parents should understand these matters and use suitable words to console and instill confidence in the minds of their children and guide them properly.

Written by DR. Prof. Rameeza.A.Rasheed