Is it my fault that my gender
is female?
When I was
still in the womb I heard from various
sources that in India the son preference attitude is very
strong resulting in large scale
abortions , especially among the well off and educated families and in well
developed states resulting the skewed Sex ratio ie.,940:1000 .
I was a
female fetus. When my mother’s pregnancy
was confirmed, there was jubilation in my family. But that turned into sorrow
the minute the family learnt that the child to be born would be a girl, thanks
to advancement in medical technology. From that day, I was helplessly watching
my mother weeping all the time in the privacy of her room and arguing with my
father against the decision of the family to abort me since they wanted the
eldest child to be a boy. Finally, only their will prevailed over my mother’s
wishes and I was brutally prevented from seeing this world. My fundamental
right to be born was denied to me.
My family allowed
me to be born since they could not determine my sex before birth I was born as
girl into this world in a poor family. When
I was still alive I heard that in
India the practice of female infanticide
is widespread due to dowry and security problems and
contributes significantly to the number of “missing women”(Amertia Sen’s
description )
From the date
of my birth, the elders in the family and my father were planning to kill me
since they considered me as a future burden on their limited income. My mother’s
pleadings were turned down. After one week of my birth, during an early morning,
a village traditional birth attendant ended my life by pouring hot milk into my
throat and then choking me with hand full of paddy. Only my mother cried
uncontrollably. Thus my right to live
was denied to me.
I was a six
year old girl child, born in a poor family. I was stopped from going to school when I
completed my first standard, since my
younger brother was only 3 years old ,
my mother had to go for farm work and
I was needed at home to look after my
brother and to share the household work.
There was total discrimination in food, health care and education matters against
me. The result was, due to neglect, work burden and nutrition deficiency I was
falling sick often. But I was not given timely medical care and I died due to
some decease at the age of seven. Thus
my right to live with proper parental and medical care was denied to me.
- Sexual torture during adolescence
I was a
school going girl. Ever since I
attained puberty, lot of troubles chased me. I was subjected to eve teasing by
boys in my locality, sexual advances by the male teachers and male relatives
and love proposals by few boys. But I didn’t complain about these matters to my
parents, since I was afraid that they
would stop my education. One boy was pestering me to accept his love. One day,
unable to bear his torture any more, I
slapped him and threatened that I would make my parents report to the police. The
next day he threw acid on my face when was going to the school. The sufferings
I went through after that incident were excruciating. My poor parents couldn’t afford
to continue plastic surgery required after the initial treatment for my burnt
face and neck. My enthusiastic life was halted suddenly and the future looked bleak.
Every one was afraid to see my disfigured face. I couldn’t get out of my house,
couldn’t see or talk to any one, couldn’t think of continuing my education or
taking up a carrier and I could not see the agony of my parents.
The future looked very bleak, since repairing my face after acid attack involved
heavy expenditure, excessive pain and longer time. Hence one day, unable to
bear my parent’s agony and the hopeless future I
committed suicide. Thus my right to live with dignity was denied to me, for no
fault of mine. But the offenders were
not convicted due to lack of strong evidence
- Sexual harassment in work places
I was a
professionally qualified, working unmarried girl, and was getting a decent
salary. I was putting in lot of efforts to get a promotion. But my promotion
was delayed due to the behavior of one of my superiors. He made sexual advances
to me. Since I was not cooperative to his desires he became a stumbling block
to my carrier progress. There was no hope for climbing up in the carrier ladder
in that company as long as he was there and therefore, for no fault of mine I
had to quit that job remained unemployed nearly for two years subjecting my family to hardships for no fault
of mine.
I was a single,
employed girl and was staying in a working woman hostel. Since I was working in
a call centre and I had to return from work at 4 AM everyday. My company had
arranged for a van to travel back after work I was always the last be dropped.
One day the driver took me back through a different route. When I questioned
him about it he gave some explanation. On the way, he picked up two of his
friends and I grew suspicious. But I maintained silence since, the roads were
deserted and there was scope for any help. The van reached a deserted park and
I was forcibly taken behind a bush and gang raped (. Before this incident happened
I had read about raping of girls, in trains, in the car parks, in pubs, in beaches
in the nights etc. I used to think why can’t
the girls scream and use their teeth and nails to escape)? Before they could
get out of the park, I tried to scream
since I heard the voices of walkers from the entrance side. They immediately tied
my neck with a towel tightly and attacked my head with a heavy stone and I died
instantly. Thus for no fault of mine, I lost my life.
I was a woman
foreign tourist. I have heard that India is a land
of rich culture traditions and values. We foreigners do not believe in male
escorts when ever we travel. When I was enjoying my late evening
in the beach, taking advantage of the
deserted beach , I was attacked by two men , carried to a lonely park
and molested and all my personal belongings were robbed by them . Now
Understand why India is declared as unsafe country for women When tried hard to
hit them back with my self defense skills , I was over powered and attacked
with a knife and I was left with heavy
and continuous bleeding and I died for no fault
mine. By the way what is the meaning of, “athithi devo bhava?”
What has happened to this
country? Children who are in no way provoking
the males through their dresses (as some police officers claim as the reason
for crimes against women) are raped. Women or girls of any age are raped by
police men, higher authorities, politicians and even by teachers. Victims of
rape often do not report because of police harassment, delayed justice and fear
of offender’s power. The barbaric manner in which even girl children are gang
raped and then killed and thrown into bushes is equal to the scenes in the
discovery channel where, we see the tigers chase all the time the helpless
deers and kill them and tear them into pieces.
Offenders of rape seems to think
that the powerful tool to conquer women
is through this barbaric act .The silence of women over the crimes of rape to protect family honor and to avoid social stigma have emboldened
these animals.
After the Delhi rape incident eminent people are coming
out with shocking advice to women regarding their safety. It only shows that a
considerable percentage of Indian men are still view women with 18th
century mindset and are irritated with women liberation and empowerment
process.
- Domestic violence and suicide
I was a
married woman. Day in day out I was harassed by my husband to get more dowry
from my not so well off parents. One day I told them I would go to the police
and complain. The very next day I died after eating my lunch because of poison
mixed in my food and my parents were told that, I died due to dehydration inspite
of medical attention. Thus for no fault
of mine I lost my life.
Before my death I had heard that married women
commit suicide if there is uncontrolled domestic violence or black mailing by
cyber offenders. Some married women commit suicide if their husbands are
drunkards, indulge in regular wife beating and do not take care of the family
inspite of acute poverty. Some girls are
kidnapped from villages of backward states, forced into prostitution and due to
lack of chance to escape and go back to their families, they end their life.
Thus, for various reasons women commit suicide and these missing women together
contribute to declining sex ratio.
I was a poor
pregnant woman. I never had a chance to eat the right quantity and quality
food. Through out my pregnancy I was anemic .When I was admitted in the
hospital to deliver my child, due to
late admission and delayed and
indifferent medical attention given in government hospitals ,my delivery became
very complicated and I died immediately
after delivering a still born child . I had heard that in India the
maternal mortality rate is 50 times higher than in other countries. Thus I lost
my life due to poverty for which I was not directly responsible.
If greater number of Indian women of disappear
from this world continuously due to feticide, infanticide, child mortality,
maternal mortality and suicides due to rape, acid attack, domestic violence,
dowry problem, cyber crimes and sexual harassment the
sex ratio will be surely a skewed one. Is the government and the civil
society going to passively present the statistics and talk about declining sex ratio for some
time and move on to another human story
or gear up to take corrective steps on
a war footing?
Why should
the Indian men look at any woman only as sex object irrespective their age,
education, intelligence, carrier, other capabilities and achievements? When men
know how to treat women of their families with dignity, love and care, why should
they commit crimes against other women? Who should teach them to treat all
women with dignity and equality in today’s world, where, men and women have to
work together in every field for the welfare of the family and progress of the
nation?
Let us be aware that the skewed sex ratio would result in
bad consequences. such as negative dowry (boys giving dowry for girls), drastic
decline in birth rate, growing crime against women,
emergence of several ethical and moral issues , such as Polyandry
(having more than one husband)would be the consequences
